Blog Post by Lucy Collins
Do you regularly experience feelings of not being enough?
Is low self-esteem and lack of confidence something which is holding you back?
Many of us find ourselves grappling with feelings of inadequacy, despite our best efforts to have faith in ourselves. These struggles can be linked to a combination of limiting beliefs that we have formed about ourselves due to past experiences, and a societal culture that thrives on comparison.
Understanding these factors and working with them to guide us to where our attention could do with being set, is the first step towards reclaiming our sense of self-worth and thriving once more.
Limiting Beliefs: The Invisible Chains
Limiting beliefs are those deep-rooted convictions we hold about ourselves that limit our potential and our enjoyment of life. They generally originate in childhood, (the subconscious mind is formed between the ages of 0-7) but also later on in life, and are rooted in the messages we received from the world that lead us to believe something about ourselves; parents, teachers, and peers around us.
Common limited beliefs include not being good enough, feeling unlovable and generally not feeling enough. These beliefs can embed themselves in our psyche, shaping our self-perception and leaving us struggling.
These beliefs almost act like invisible chains, holding us back from pursuing our dreams or even being able to acknowledge our achievements. For instance, someone who grew up being told they were not clever enough, or didn’t do ‘as well’ as their peers in school, might shy away from challenging opportunities, convinced they will fail as they ‘always have’. Over time, these beliefs can have a huge effect on self-esteem, creating a vicious cycle, where the fear of failure prevents any effort to break free.
Our past experiences play a significant role in shaping our self-esteem. Traumatic events, bullying, rejection, or persistent criticism can leave deep emotional wounds, that without awareness and focus can continue to predict our experience, and lead to us being constantly triggered by the words and actions of others. These experiences teach us to doubt our abilities and self-worth, reinforcing the limiting beliefs we already hold about ourselves and tripping us up. If we’re not careful low self-esteem can leave us hyper- vigilant, and even push us into a victim mentality, where we stop taking responsibility and allow ourselves to become a victim to our circumstances and to our past.
Society’s Comparison Trap
In a time completely dominated by social media, comparing ourselves to others has never been more accessible and in turn, more destructive. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook project cleverly curated highlights of people’s lives, often portraying an unrealistic standard of success, beauty, and happiness. This constant exposure to what we automatically assume are other people’s constant experiences, can make us feel inadequate, as we compare our personal internal experiences of the inevitable ups and downs of life, with others’ highlight reels.
Advertisements and media bombard us with ideals of ‘perfection’ and constant ways to ‘improve’ so that we are never living in the present moment, but always striving for an ideal that doesn’t actually exist. No two people on this entire earth have the same blueprint as human beings, or the same experiences through life, not even identical twins, so to compare ourselves to others is surely to set ourselves up to fail.
Breaking Free: Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Confidence
The journey to overcoming personal challenges and building healthy self-esteem requires conscious effort and self-compassion, as well as awareness of negative past experiences and making a choice to change our personal narrative.
Start by recognizing the beliefs that hold you back, and challenging them.
Rationally, are these things beliefs that make sense or are they generalised?
Would your loved ones agree with your negative beliefs if they knew you held them about yourself?
Heal from Past Experiences: Hypnotherapy can help you to process and heal from traumatic experiences from the past. Understanding and addressing the root cause of your low self-esteem can help you move forward and forge your own unique path, through changing the way you think and behave, due to the wonder of neuroplasticity.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend or loved one. Acknowledge your efforts and achievements, no matter how small.
Limit Social Media Consumption: Reduce the time spent on social media and be mindful of the content you consume. Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, rather than those that trigger comparison and self-doubt.
Focus on Your Strengths: Identify and celebrate your unique strengths and accomplishments.
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Build a support network of friends, family, and mentors who encourage and believe in you, as well as individuals who can relate to aspects of your unique life experience. The positive reinforcement we receive from those around us can do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence. Notice how you feel after spending time with the people in your life, so many of us still carry the pressure of ‘I should spend time with this person’, when actually replacing the ‘should’ with ‘could’ and investigating how it might feel in your mind and body, gives us the freedom and direction as to whether this person fuels you or takes from you. The body never lies!
If you are interested in discovering how hypnotherapy could support you in developing your self-esteem and confidence, and helping you to align with your fullest potential, contact me today to book in an Initial Consultation: lucy.collins@groundedchoicehypnotherapy.com
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